1) You are the master of writing boring things;boredom is also an art.
2) You have a knack of picking up things from our daily lives and make your work look realistic.
3) All it takes is a horny protagonist who masturbates and smokes marijuana for the better part of the novel to inspire a movie!!
4) A weird title is half the battle won!
5) Your next book is titled The Terminator of Stupid-Ladies.
6) You know that, if the world was even half as “intellectual” as you are, you would be richer than J.K. Rowling.
7) You can come up with 36 synonyms for the male genitalia.
8) You can still hold your turban and get an erection at 85!!
9) You are an activist at heart.
10) Shave your head every now and then to show some rebellion.
11) You swear by Khalil Jibran, Kafka, Keats, Shakespeare and Alexander Pope.
12) Tagore and Premchand are too ‘pedestrian’ for your tastes.
13) Always dress shabbily!, unless you are Shobha De.
14) Sex, homosexuality, infidelity, adultery motivate you the most.
15) Look down upon JK Rowling and people who read her books.
16) DO NOT!! get caught reading Harry Potter and The Deathly Hallows.
17) If you ever run out of ideas, taking cheap shots at religious entities is a good idea.
18) Marry someone very hot! and young enough to be your daughter.
19) You should not be comfortable in writing or speaking in your mother tongue.
20) Remember, GOD created you to bore us; you have a job to do!! Never give up!
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