Where have all the courteous and happy people gone??
I have been asking myself this question ever since I came to Delhi. Let me start by telling you a little story from this morning.
I was at the other end of the road at the metro station near my house, and I was about to cross the road. I could see an old man on an LML scooter far far away. I started walking...the man sped up.....the road was about 35 feet wide...but the man seemed bent on hitting me. Anyway...considering the situation..I stopped dead where I was. But no no no...Mr. John LML Abraham still had to come at me, and he did. He took off his helmet, from his looks I could tell he must have been about 64-65 years old, and he says "behenchod!! dikhta nahi hai tere ko". Now I am from Allahabad, and since the day I could fathom ten Hindi words, I have been hearing abuses all around me. But...I was shocked!!....here is a man who could very well have been the father of a teenager when I was born, and yet, he has no reservations whatsoever to throw such an abuse at me? I tried to reason with him, talking politely....addressing him as uncle...but he kept raising his voice...and kept using the eternal Delhi abuse(mentioned above) frequently. It was too much, finally, I walked up close to him and scared the shitlights out of him(I'm not getting into the details as that's not the point of this write-up).
As if this wasn't enough!!!!....let's carry on with the story shall we----
I got on the metro train and took the corner seat as I always do; it's very comfortable to just place my head on the side-glass and listen to my iPod through the half an hour journey. Five minutes into the journey, and a FAT!!! girl(sorry, but I'm pissed) comes in. She must have been a bout 19-20 years old, she was perspiring, coz of the FAT!!! I'm sure...neway I offered her my seat. She sat and then looked away..no thank you..nothing. Now I don't expect a thank you whenever I offer my seat to anybody, but you should know that, except for a few old men, no woman...old or young has ever thanked me for offering her my seat. Anyway, apparently, she also had to get down at my stop and she got up. I was already at the door, holding the side rest with my left hand....this girl comes close to me and says "please move your hand"... I told her that I had to get off too....she says "move your hand" in a raised voice...I, having lost the better part of my temper already with the old man, asked her humbly that what was her problem...and she says "I'm getting late and I want to move 1 step further to the gate"......can you believe that? And then, much to my surprise, I started laughing...as did a lot of others who were listening to our conversation....and there ended this story. Did I move my hand??????.......:)
Speaking of Metro, if you wanna learn what metro, or even bus and railway manners are..take a visit to Kolkata. Acts of vacating your seats for the elderly and the women are almost always a given in that city, but what's even better, is that the people who are already sitting, offer to carry the luggage of the ones standing. On a DTC bus...you see the bad tempered, ill mannered conductor and the hordes of frustrated men who are just waiting for some "brave guy" to start eve-teasing and then they all jump in. In Kolkata...you see the aggressive(but still polite) conductor who calls you 'dada' and the many men who will get the bus stopped..bash up the eve-teaser and throw him out of the bus.
What is more disturbing, is that these acts of arrogance, rage etc permeate through all levels of the society. An auto rickshaw driver is as arrogant as an MNC executive, and a healthy wealthy businessman is as bad mouthed and criminal minded as a local goon. People don't seem to respect anything, and I don't know for what god forsaken reason these people are always angry!! You look at a guy(maybe on the road,the bus,the train) and he'll give you look which says "stop staring at me you dumb fuck or I'll kill you"....you look and smile at a girl and you'll get a look which says "stop staring at me you pervert..or I'll have you arrested"...if she's the aggressive type...you might actually be arrested...lol. I have been to London, I have been to Tokyo and I have been to Atlanta.....all big cosmopolitan cities with a very fast life....but...people smile there. You feel happy being surrounded by happy people. In London, old men, 70-80 years old, used to take off their hat and say good morning to me. Now that's what great cities are about. If a single pedestrian is on the zebra crossing, the whole traffic stops at a good 10 yards away from the crossing....in Delhi though, it's a miracle no one dies of a heart attack when the crazy drivers come at 100 miles/hr towards you. The bicycle guy trying to overtake the rickshaw...the rickshaw trying to overtake the auto...the auto trying to overtake the car..the car trying to ovetake the truck...and for what??........for a chance to be the closest one to the RED LIGHT STOP LINE.
And I won't even get started on the condition of young guys in Delhi, and their perceptions of women. It really really depresses me to see the state of kids in Delhi. Shouting..screaming...drunk driving....teasing girls..sometimes even ladies who might be the age of their mothers. The older men are no better either.....I have witnessed it....60 year old men staring at 16 year old girls like vultures. I'm not saying that this kind of behaviour is only seen in Delhi......but when you're in the capital...supposedly a modern city....a cosmopolitan city...the city of opportunities....you don't expect to see these things....well...you don't wish to. What is the so called "efficient" Delhi police doing......they'd rather have the roads blocked with half an hour traffic jams and book chalaans worth 18 Lakhs in a single day than catch those who are disrespecting the vanity of women. They'd rather beat up poor kids not wearing helmets to death than diligently patroling for miscreants and rapists. They'd rather harrass the people by blocking various entrances to the New/Old Delhi stations than scanning scrutinizing vehicles entering crime prone areas.
Why the anger?Why the frustration?Why the arrogance?Why the total disrespect for fellow citizens?Why the total disrespect for law? It is our capital...a city we should be proud of..a city of good people...of helpful people...of smiling faces. Is it because of the heat? Certainly not. Is it because of the fast life? I don't think so....Mumbai,Kolkata,Hyderabad, Bangalore have very fast lives too. I wish I had more time to add all the stuff still inside me, but work is calling. If anybody knows the answers to my questions....please let me know. Meanwhile, I request all of you to make Delhi what it should be.....not 'the best city in India to stay'(as per the India Today survey) but the 'best city in India to LIVE in'. Adios for now
4 comments:
I don't think its just Delhi. Even though cities like Mumbai are safer for women, politeness, I feel is something that you read about only in the history books. Maybe its the pressure of modern day life taking it's toll, maybe it's because parents no longer teach their children how to be polite, or maybe we are just not polite and civilized as a society anymore. Whatever be the cause, the fact remains that Inidans are by and large perceived as rude and crude; and sadly most of us are.
Rightly said...and that's the sad part...After years of being a part of the "Third World",we are finally witnessing some prosperity across all levels of society,and yet,we are becoming ruder and cruder with every passing minute. As for the pressure of modern day life...I don't think it's the pressure...the problem is, most of the so called modern Indians are posers, masquerading the streets as someone they are not.Deep down inside we are still the communal,angry, frustrated people of the Mughal and British times. And yes, I agree, it's not just Delhi....but when things like this happen in the interiors of Bihar or UP, you tend to overlook it, but with Delhi you just can't...it's New Delhi for crying out loud.
Excellent piece...I really wish more and more people would realize the value of politeness and be good human beings. I am a native of Delhi and it makes me so sad to see the state of things in the city.
Makes me sad too.. we often criticise the west.. but it would be nice to take a page out of their books and wish your neighbour or smile as you pass someone... it doesnt hurt at all.. and it quite makes your day.
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