The Critic's Den: September 2007

When Misbah-ul-Haq lofted that ball behind the wicket I was sure I'll have a heart attack or something. I had gone totally numb; shuddering to watch the ball roll over to the boundary line for a four. I had no idea Sreesanth was there in catching position, and when he did catch it, I let out a roary YES and hugged my wife. There were tears in my eyes, happy tears:). Well done India, you've made us proud.

Well done Pakistan too; these guys played really well. Till Sreesanth took the match winning catch, I could see Misbah taking away the cup from us. It may sound stupid but beneath all the ecstasy I was feeling as an Indian, I couldn't help empathizing with the Pakistanis too. They really did a good job..it was anybody's game in the end. It was Shoaib Malik's speech at the presentation ceremony however, that drove out even the tiniest speck of empathy I had for Pakistan. I don't know if anybody paid attention or not but this is what he said. "First of all I would like to thank our supporters back in Pakistan, and all the Muslims in the rest of the world.."..??????? What the hell is this? What does Cricket have to do with Muslims, what does Cricket even have to do with religion for that matter? Does Shoaib Malik think Irfan and Yusuf Pathan were playing for Pakistan? Did he think Shahrukh Khan along with his son was cheering for Pakistan in the stands? It really hurts me to see such fanaticism in sportspersons. Fanaticism towards your country is great, but why bring religion in all of this. Shoaib Malik made it sound as if Pakistan were fighting for Muslims all over the world. What does he think of India, does he think we're Anti-Muslim?? We have more Muslims than the entire population of Pakistan Mr. Malik, and like it or not, they were cheering for India's victory too.

Anyway, congratulations!! everybody. Chak De!!!!!!!!

Ever since it's release, this particular RGV venture has drawn so much flak and has been ridiculed so much that we were finding it very difficult to spend 400 bucks for the sake of curiosity. Anyway, ..we finally mustered up the courage to watch RGV ki AAG this saturday. Before I begin, let me tell you that the ONLY reason I sat through the movie was to write this review....everybody who reads this owes me big time!!

I won't get into the script details, as no one needs any. An inpiration is what RGV may have called this garbage, but it is an exact rehash of the same situations, albeit with slight deviations in the dilaogues.

DIRECTION--RGV tries very hard to put in his own flavor in many of the memorable Sholay scenes. Sadly, it all falls flat! The scene where AB saws off Mohanlal's fingers is brutally chilling though--one of the very few scenes where I could feel something!

CAMERAWORK--It gives you a headache, it really does. Jerky for most parts and angles which can only make sense to Ram Gopal Varma. Will someone please ask Mr. varma to stop obsessing with his heroines' buttocks please!

MUSIC--Dull and boring..the 'hai aag yeh' title song is sort of OK though.

EDITING--It seems the editing department slept for the better part of their job. It's our turn to sleep now.

SCREENPLAY--As pathetic as it gets. Meaningless, dragging all the uneccesary portions while giving little importance to what mattered, e.g. the scenes between Mohanlal and AB. If only they would have given a little more importance to this aspect, they would have redeemed themselves somehow.

Coming on to the performances now--

Amitabh Bachhan--It's not that I haven't been annoyed by Mr. Bachhan's performances before, Jaadugar, Toofan, Ajooba and Boom to name a few. This performance however, is something in a different league altogether. Not only did it annoy every inch of my body, it made me sad, really sad! God knows what Mr. Bachhan was thinking when he said yes to this 'grand' vision of RGV. RGV has made a total buffoon of his character, and what's more sad is that Mr. Bachhan has played it exactly like a buffoon. I wonder if he's forgotten what it means to improvise. Tacky dialogues, over the top mannerisms, hissing, snarling, nose picking!..you name it..you've got it. Inarguably the worst performance of this legend's career, in fact one of the MOST annoying performances by anyone..ever. Not only has he disappointed me, but he has also dealt a blow to his own reputation by being part of this horrendous "tribute" to Sholay.

Ajay Devgan--If there was an award for the 'worst actor in a comic role ever', it would go to Ajay Devgan for sure. Ever since AAG was announced I always felt that Ajay was miscast here, but that he could be so pathetic!! is something that never crossed my mind. The way he massacred Dharmendra's drunken 'suiciiiiide' scene almost made me cry. I kept cringing everytime he tried to do anything even remotely comic. Ajay should have never done this film..it's left me disillusioned and I'm pretty sure that goes for many others too. I had always regarded Ajay as one of the TOP 3 actors of this generation, but now..my view has changed. Not being excellent at comedy as a Govinda or Paresh Rawal or even an Akshay Kumar is OK, but being this bad! cannot be overlooked. You have to command a decent level of skill in all aspects of acting..if you don't..you're not a good actor in my book.

Prashant Raj--The guys tries very hard, yes, he does. You just cannot expect a newcomer to make an impact with what has already been immortalised by AB. I'm ashamed to admit this, but when he dies, I was actually relieved!..the lesser the irritants..the better for me :)

Nisha Kothari--Supremely irritating would be an understatement. This performance was like a loudspeaker on a mass-destruction spree. I was jumping up and down and pulling my hair everytime she opened her mouth.

Sushmita Sen--Perfect casting this was! And Suhmita did a commendable job too. The only problem I had was that she seemd to be crying every moment while in Jaya's case it was the silent sadness which was much more effective.

Mohanlal--This is what you call a terrific! performance in a terrible film. Even with his flawed hindi accent, Mohanlal portrayed the role of inspector Narsimha with all his heart and soul. His eyes spoke! ..the dormant wrath, the helplessness..everything was done beautifully. I don't need to comment on specific scenes in his case as he was nothing less than excellent in each frame that had him. I'm even inclined to say that there were some scenes where he did better than Sanjeev Kumar in Sholay...there!! I said it.

The tremendous actor in Sushant Singh is wasted in the role of Thambe...even the ever so fascinating Rajpal Yadav simply annoys in the reincarnated version of Soorma Bhopali aka Rambha Bhai. I don't know who advised him to go with that irritatingly squeaky birdy voice..maybe Mr. Varma again??

Calling AAG a half baked effort is far from the truth. It's like RGV even forgot to put it in the oven. His Bacchan bhakti it seems distracted him from the job at hand. He tries to justify Babban's cruelty by having his brother (Sachin) killed. Oh! and how he totally screws up the climax..it's not even funny. Gabbar was beaten like a dog by Veeru and Thakur in the climax of Sholay. In AAG, not only does the old and haggard Babban seem to be overpowering Heero but he's also killed in an instant! It must have been too agonising for RGV to see AB go through the manhandling that Gabbar receives at the 'feet' of Thakur. Oh! and I totally forgot about the nonsensical Abhishek Bachhan cameo in the Mehbooba song. What was he there for?? Walking around, making stupid eyes at everyone....utterly irritating! Enough with the Bacchan bhakti Mr. Varma..a Sarkar we can appreciate but not this nonsense.

Aag is a pain no one should be subjected to, I know, I've experienced it!!

Rating--Not Applicable